1st April 2021
Children are precious gifts from God. Their presence enlivens as well as brings joy in a parent’s life. When a child gets sick, especially with such a dreaded disease as cancer, the parent’s life will inevitably be affected. Being told that your child has cancer is a difficult task. The feeling of happiness, love and caring, in just a heartbeat, turns into hopelessness, sadness and fear. Many parents feel confused in the first few days or even weeks after finding out about it. Who would not, upon being told your priceless child is seriously ill? Who would not, when you know you are unable to do much? Who would not, when your current situation needs more than just emotional support but also financial help?
With the above in mind, Dayang Juliana Binti Abang Dalhan came forward and took the initiative to join and support the Sarawak Children’s Cancer Society, or SCCS. At first glance, she, just like any other ordinary mother, looks like a normal housewife with five children, living an ordinary life in Kuching. No one would ever imagine that there is an awe-inspiring story behind this woman.
Dayang, who is now in her 50s, started her journey with the Society during SCCS’s first Golden Child Camp in the year 2000. Back then, she was just a mother of a child who was undergoing chemotherapy treatment.
The beginning:
“I took the first steps after meeting Dr. Ong Gek Bee (SCCS Medical Advisor and then Head of the Paediatric Oncology Ward at Sarawak General Hospital), who kept encouraging me to join the Society and other members of the Society like Gary Ho (current Treasurer), Rodney Wong (current President) and few others, who introduced to me to SCCS and to their mission. My involvement started sometime in early 2003, when I joined the ward visits with Gary, Rodney and an SCCS staff who carried out parent counselling, Nancy. We went from bed to bed to speak and mingle with the parents. It was there that I realised my great interest in this kind of service, which was supporting and motivating other parents. I then started chairing the Sharing Sessions on a routine basis”.
Dayang is not alone in her fight. She is blessed with a supportive family. Till today, her husband and children are frequently involved in SCCS events and activities. Her empathy as a parent of a childhood cancer survivor, coupled with an understanding family, has contributed to her enthusiastic pledge to assist those in need.
Dayang realised the needs in this field of service. Instead of being just a mother, she took a step forward by opening herself to support parents emotionally, and also providing a pathway for them to move forward without feeling hesitant. As her heart grew fonder, she vowed to commit herself not only to motivating the parents, but also leading them to understand more about the treatment journey of their child by becoming the intermediary between parents and doctors. Knowing that some parents had limited knowledge on cancer, she spoke with the doctors and nurses at length in order to gain detailed information about their child’s illness, and then relayed this information to the parents in layman’s terms.
Experiences:
“My passion grew stronger each day, knowing that it is necessary for someone to take up this task. As a parent who had a child diagnosed with cancer at a very tender age of 4, I shared their same path, I was in their shoes. Hence, out of passion and compassion, I started volunteering full time, designing Support Group programmes with an emphasis on Sharing Sessions in order to cater for these parents’ need of support and guidance. As my experience was first-hand with cancer children, I shared all my knowledge to these parents: how to handle their own emotions, how to take care of their child during treatment, what to do if their child fell sick, in a way, anything that I had already experienced with my own child. I told them my stories, and how I moved forward, how I dealt with the challenges during the treatment phase, how I dealt with my other children and my family. These tales serve as guidelines as well, and they suit most of the parents who are having difficulty in understanding. Bearing in mind that most of the patients back then came from rural areas, and most of their parents were uneducated and illiterate. After I became a Central Committee Member in 2004, together with the Committee we always sought ways for improvement on our services. I joined SCCS as a full time staff carrying out counselling in 2013 up till 2016. I have attended courses such as Pre-Counseling and Advance Counselling under the Sarawak Social Welfare Council by Majlis Kebajikan dan Pembangunan Masyarakat with Certificate, Grief and Bereavement, Palliative Care and other relevant workshops by Hospis Malaysia as well as Children Play Therapy Workshop by Children Cancer Foundation in Singapore. I now pay more attention to my volunteering work and at the same time improve my level of knowledge and obtained a Certificate for Foundation in Psychology. This is essential as we deal with human emotions and feelings”.
With more than 20 years on the job, Dayang says she has encountered many unforgettable memories and challenges.
Unforgettable Memories:
“I have so many memories and unforgettable experiences with SCCS. Part of them was during my few years’ attachment in the Paediatric Oncology Ward, Sarawak General Hospital or SGH where everything was first-hand. Here, I attended new cases providing counselling support as assigned by doctors, chairing sharing sessions in the ward for parents, bringing in friends to do weekly crafts with patient’s mothers, celebrating all festive seasons and patient’s birthdays in the ward. I also did home visits for financial assessment, palliative care and bereavement with doctors and nurses. Apart from that, I also followed doctors to their clinic visits at other government hospitals in Sibu, Miri and Bintulu. Above all, it is worth mentioning all the memories with the patients (our little Angel fighters) will always remain forever in my heart. They are the ones who taught us how strong one can be to face any challenges”.
Challenges:
“As I’m dealing mostly in counselling, my main challenge will always be emotions. I once felt terribly down at seeing a parent lose their child to cancer, and I’ve experienced losing numerous patients who were very close to me. As a parent of a cancer survivor child, it was really frustrating and heart-wrenching. But through time, as I took up more courses on handling grief and bereavement together with other uplifting courses, my level of coping with unbearable situations improved. I can now confidently say that I managed to cope quite well”.
As the Vice President of the current SCCS Committee, Dayang feels proud as SCCS has tremendously evolved to where it is now. Looking back at their humble beginnings, SCCS has certainly reached a higher level, from being a mere parents support group, to now offering scheduled counselling services for parents, monthly financial aid for needy families and even subsidising large sums for certain specialised medical procedures and medication for special cases, to name a few. For her, all this has been possible because of great teamwork from all levels, whether it be committee or staff. As a result, she feels that SCCS has become a role model to other NGOs. She also believes that continuous support and contribution from the public and community are what keeps SCCS sustainable and able to expand its services.
Message:
“I hope that SCCS will remain sustainable for many more years to come with extended and expanded services covering more areas. Of course, this would not be possible without support from all contributors as funding is utmost crucial. For the public and community out there, let us join hands, helping kids in their fight against cancer by doing your part and contributing for this noble cause. Our Society will always welcome any contributions and funding for the continuity of our services. Your Care, Our Hope”.
There are lots of ways to offer help; offering kindness proactively, volunteering your time, donating to the cause, financially and in kind. And Dayang Juliana has done all of the above. Following this route took more than these acts; it took a brave heart, determination and openness.
This is not just a mere story, it is the reality of a mother who became the Vice President of SCCS, of a woman whose life journey is deeply committed and dedicated to bring even just a glimpse of light in the life of others without knowing the feeling of exhaustion. For her, love and knowledge are powerful tools to be shared, especially with those in need.
“Love will find a way”
